DEAR DIARY

DEAR DIARY,

Remember that one time I stumbled across that boy on Reddit and I sent him a message about filling up pages of notebooks with all the things that stir in my soul and then burning those pages in barrels on the beach because I was obsessed with that song 'smoke signals' by Phoebe Bridgers?  

And I thought there was no way he'd write back.

But he did.

He wrote back.

And then we wrote to each other again and again until he called me one Wednesday night at 8:30 and I stood in my kitchen, my heart thumping in my chest, his voice in my ear, thick - like the molasses in that jar on the shelf of my pantry.

And he kept calling.  

For some reason, he kept calling.

And then I got to meet him!

And I was so scared!  

My heart was thumping in my chest, his voice was in my ear - thick like the molasses in that jar - only this time not on the phone but in a bed 

in some remodeled fire station 

on a street named Mobile.

.....

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I read one time on Reddit that when you make a dating profile it is sometimes helpful, and also a little fun, to list three things about yourself; two that are true and one that is not.  The idea is that your potential suitor will have a blast guessing which thing about you is not true. 

And that is one reason out of 964 that I don't have a dating profile.

I'm not doing that.

I'm never going to do that.

But if I were going to do that, here are the three things I'd list:

• I enjoy human liver smothered in gravy over the regular beef liver smothered in gravy.

• I asked the insanely ripped uncle of a friend to help me get in shape over the course of a summer before I went on a date with this man from the internet.  He  promised me he could get me ripped too.  And he didn't lie.  I was super fly be the time the date happened.

• While on that date, I reverted to a 16 year old girl and ugly cried during a game of disc golf so JuJu's hard work of running football fields and turning over giant tires was a complete waste. I feel bad for him but he doesn't know yet so I need you to keep that on the down low.
  

Can you guess which one is not true?  

If so, hit me up.  

We might be forever.  

I promise not to eat your liver until after you've fallen in love with me.

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The Summer of You

I lost myself for you this summer.    

"Stephanie, I want to rip your clothes off.  I want to fuck you hard and make you cum on my cock over and over again. But the only reason I want to do that is because of you.  When I rip your clothes off, I'm not just exposing your breasts and thighs.  No, it's everything.  The way you lay in bed with Max when he doesn't feel good.  And the way you talk to him.  The way you show him how to love and be kind.  The way you admit when you're wrong.  I'm ripping off your clothes to take everything you are in."

 

I wanted your hands on my body.  

I wanted your hands on every part of my body.

I wanted your hands inside my body. 

I wanted your hands all over me. 

And when you put those hands on my body, I wanted to feel them. I did not want to  think about them.  I did not want to think about the way my flesh underneath them might feel just a little too soft.

I only wanted to feel everything you'd promised me I'd feel.

 

So yeah.

I got a little lost for you this summer.

 

But I don't think anyone could blame me, really.