As Far As I Can See

It's Sunday morning again.
How many Sunday's does this make?

I'm not keeping track anymore because it doesn't matter.  I'll still be sitting here at my kitchen table waiting for you to get back.  I won't go anywhere til you get here.  Just walk in and say 'hey.'  I'll look up at you and smile.  That's how easy it will be.

My coffee maker died.  It's tragic.  This is the only morning of the week I make coffee at home.  The rest of the week, I have it when I get to work.  I put my little scoops in, poured the water, turned it on to brew....nothing.  Turned it back off.  Waited.  Turned it back on.  Nothing.  It died sometime between last Sunday and now and I don't know its official time of death.  Could have been last Sunday afternoon or Tuesday mid-day.  Might even have been Thursday night.  Who can say?  Poor fella just went lights out when nobody was around and then had to sit there in his own death for god only knows how long.  Tragic.

So, now I need a new coffee maker.  Christmas is coming up in 10 days if you were wondering what to get me.  I don't want anything fancy.  And please no Keurig or anything like that.  If you could find one in red, that would be nice. I have a red toaster and a red microwave.  I'm not sure why.  Just seemed like the thing to do when I was replacing my old appliances.  Get some red shit.  Okay!  I don't even particularly like red.  But red it is.  I have red cooking utensils, too.  How'd this happen?  Well, anyway, a red coffee maker would be swell.  No french press or anything like that.  Just a standard coffee maker.  I like the sound it makes when it's brewing.  The louder the better.  And the smell of coffee all over the house.  That's a nice feeling

Today is my dad's birthday.  We'll go hang with him later, bring him a cake and all that jazz.  Max loves going to his house.  He lives in the 'country' and has a golf cart that he (Max) has only just learned to drive.  My parent's divorced when I was a senior in high school.  They had been married almost 30 years at that point.  I never got around to telling you that.  It was a thing I prayed for my entire childhood, the divorce.  My dad wasn't all that nice when we were growing up.  I was afraid of him a lot of the time.  Sometimes he didn't come home for days at a time and my mom had four kids to deal with (I'm the youngest!).  She's a saint.  Truly.  He's mellowed a lot in his old age, as I suspect most people do.  He's a much better grandpa than he was a dad.

Gross, what a bunch of downer shit.  I'm sorry.  I haven't had my coffee.  I'm drinking this green tea instead and it's just not working.

It's only 10 days until Christmas and you might be appalled to know I haven't bought the first gift.  Not even a card.  Nothing.  Zero.  This is standard for me, though.  I do this every year.  I know Amazon's shipping schedule by heart and I know exactly when I need to order something to guarantee delivery on or before December 24.  I'm such a dare devil.  Can you stand it?  Seriously, I don't know who these people are that start shopping for Christmas after Halloween and are done by Thanksgiving.  How do you even know what you're getting a person that soon?  I mean, I think about that shit all year and it never clicks until around December 20 and I'm all 'that's perfect, now where the hell do I find it.'  How do you know in October that you'll still want someone to have whatever crap thing you picked up for them when Christmas rolls around?  Crazy!  So, I do my shopping last minute.  I hope that's not a deal breaker.  Don't worry, I won't stress out over it or run around the house wringing my hands about it.  The presents will all appear under the tree on the night of December 24 and you'll be none the wiser that they only just arrived that morning.  I like to live on the edge.  Wanna come too?

Last night, I listened to Catarina by Joe Purdy and I was going to share that with you because I love these lines:

Well we could pop a train or a one-way ticket out
We can just get in my piece of shit car and drive all night 'til the gas runs out
We could stay right here, watch the city cave in
We could lick our wounds until they're warm again
And I don't care anymore who sees this mess
Cause you're the only one I'm trying to impress

I love the vulnerability in all that; from the piece of shit car to not caring who sees this mess.

But then, another song came on after that I've never heard and it punched me right in the gut.  I had to drive around and listen to it.

You're as far as I can see.

I just wanted you to know that.